The behavior is not
the problem.
It is the message.
Teens don’t walk into a therapy room and say “I am struggling with unresolved attachment disruption.” They give one-word answers and stare at a spot on the wall. Or they talk nonstop about everything except the actual thing. I know how to read what is underneath that.
They have already been told something is wrong with them. By a teacher. A doctor. A previous therapist.
Every intervention you have tried has made it worse or made no difference.
They have been through the system. Foster care. Removal. Multiple placements.
You know something happened to them. Maybe you know what. Maybe you don’t.
You are a parent who is exhausted and out of ideas and scared you are running out of time.
If any of these cards stop your scroll, keep reading.
The behavior makes no sense until you understand what the nervous system learned to do to stay safe.
I don’t pathologize teens for surviving. I figure out what their system learned and help them build something new.
a trauma presentation.
Gender-affirming. No gatekeeping. The language is already here.
Kids who have been handed between adults who were supposed to keep them safe.
ADHD and trauma look almost identical. Most clinicians are not trained to tell them apart. I am.
Getting that wrong is not a minor mistake. The interventions are completely different.
Telehealth only.
Defiance is usually something else entirely.
Teens do not come into a therapy room and say “I am struggling with unresolved trauma and attachment disruption.”They roll their eyes and stare at a spot on the wall. I speak that language fluently.
Trauma-exposed youth
Working with a teen who can’t name what happened and one who can name it but can’t feel it. Both need different things. Both deserve someone who knows the difference.
Foster + system-involved youth
The attachment disruption, the hypervigilance, the behavior that looks like defiance and is actually perfect sense given everything that has happened to them.
ODD + high conflict presentations
Teens labeled defiant, oppositional, manipulative. Working with the behavior without making the child the problem. There is always something underneath.
ADHD youth
What ADHD looks like in a teen versus what trauma looks like. The school piece, the family piece, and the part where the person has internalized that their brain is broken. It is not.
Trans youth 16+
Gender-affirming care for teenagers navigating identity, family systems that may or may not be supportive, and the weight of existing in a world that debates whether you should.
BIPOC youth
The intersections of race, identity, and trauma for young people navigating systems that were not built for them. Culturally responsive care built in, not bolted on.
If you are the one
being brought here.
Your parents can stop reading now. This part is yours. You can talk however you want in this room. Be angry. Be checked out. Give me one word answers for three sessions. I have seen it all and I am still here. I am also not going to pretend I don’t notice when you are performing fine. I will call it out. Not harshly. But I will call it out because you deserve someone who actually sees you.
I do not have a poker face
You will know when something lands. You will know when I think something is worth slowing down for. I am not going to sit here nodding neutrally at everything. That is boring for both of us and it would not help you anyway.
You are not going to shock me
I have heard a lot. You can be exactly as much as you are. The anger, the walls, the sarcasm, the silence, the mess. All of it is allowed here. I might laugh at something. You might laugh at something. That is also allowed.
I will call out the performance
If you have gotten really good at giving adults what they need to leave you alone, I see that. We can talk about it directly or we can just stop doing it. Either works. I am not leaving either way.
You are part of
the treatment.
Not as a problem to solve. As someone whose teen needs you to understand what is happening so you can be part of what helps. The work doesn’t transfer into real life unless the adults in the picture understand what we are doing and why.
Parent consultation sessions
Separate from your teen’s sessions. Space for you to ask questions, understand what we’re working on, and get support for your own experience. Parenting a teen in crisis is its own kind of exhausting.
Tools you can actually use at home
Not generic parenting advice. Specific strategies for your specific teen. What to do when they escalate. How to stay regulated when they are not. How to repair after things go sideways.
A note on what this is not
I include parents as part of treatment but I do not do conjoint family therapy. Your teen has their own sessions. You have parent consultation sessions. These are separate. Your teen’s therapy is theirs. My job is to make sure you have what you need to support them without making their therapy about you. That distinction matters and I take it seriously.
The rules of this space.
For the teens especially. But honestly for everyone.
Talk however you want
Swear if you need to. Use slang. Be inarticulate. Say “I don’t know” fourteen times in a row. This is not a place where you have to perform maturity or eloquence.
Humor is allowed
I use it. You can use it. Sometimes the funniest thing in the room is the most true thing. We can laugh and still do real work. Those are not mutually exclusive.
I will be honest with you
If I notice something I am going to name it. I might be wrong. We can argue about it. That is also allowed. But I am not going to pretend I don’t see what I see.
Your whole identity is welcome
Race, gender, sexuality, neurodivergence. All of it belongs here. No part of you has to wait outside or be explained or justified to me.
Let’s figure out
what is underneath.
Send a message. No forms, no pressure.
I read every message personally.
Telehealth only HI AZ WA NC SC
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